THE MODERN MALE COLLAPSE
- Sasha Tanoushka BCH IACT
- Dec 4, 2025
- 4 min read
Why Men Are Struggling With Love, Loneliness, and Identity — and Why It’s Time for a Different Kind of Support
Across the world, something is happening quietly, consistently, and with devastating impact. Men are disappearing.
Not from the workforce or the gym or the dating apps —but from themselves.
Economist and author Scott Galloway has been warning us about this for years. Data scientists, psychologists, and social theorists are echoing the same message:
We are in the middle of a male identity collapse — and the consequences are showing up in dating, in marriage, in mental health, in violence, and in suicide rates.
This isn’t a “men vs. women” issue.
This is a humanity issue.
And ignoring it is costing us generations of connection, intimacy, and emotional wellbeing.
1. The Dating Collapse No One Wants to Talk About
Galloway describes today’s dating landscape as a “winner-take-all sexual economy.”
Translation:
A small percentage of men receive most of the romantic attention online.
Many men receive none.
Women’s standards have risen because they can see — and access — global options.
Men are struggling to meet emotional, financial, and relational expectations.
This isn’t because men are “worse” or women are “too picky.” This is because the structure has changed, but the skill set hasn’t.
What men needed 100 years ago is not what they need today. Yet the emotional curriculum for boys has barely evolved. Boys are still taught strength = suppression. Girls are taught strength = expression.
And then we wonder why the dating world feels so painfully mismatched.
2. Men Are More Lonely Than Ever — and Silence Is Killing Them
The data is brutal:
Men have fewer close friends than ever recorded.
Men confide emotionally less than women by a factor of four.
Men are more likely to suffer in silence, isolate, or numb.
To be clear:
Men are not designed to be emotionally isolated. They are socially conditioned to be.
Loneliness changes the brain.
It increases inflammation, dysregulates the nervous system, and heightens threat perception. A lonely man moves through the world with a compressed heart and activated amygdala, making intimacy almost impossible.
A dysregulated nervous system leads to:
✔ shutdown
✔ avoidance
✔ irritability
✔ performance anxiety
✔ fear of rejection
✔ emotional volatility
✔ disappearing from relationships
This is not “bad behaviour.”
This is a body in distress.
3. Depression is Rising — But Men Don’t Call It Depression
Men often express depression differently:
Anger
Withdrawal
Numbing
Restlessness
Loss of direction
Compulsive porn use
Disconnection from purpose
Indifference to their own wellbeing
So many men tell me privately:
“I’m not sad… I just don’t feel anything anymore.”
This is depression.
This is burnout.
This is a nervous system stuck in freeze.
It doesn’t show up as tears.
It shows up as collapse.
4. Suicide Rates Among Men Are Not “Statistics” — They Are Warnings
Scott Galloway said it clearly:
“The most dangerous person in America is a lonely young man.”
Why? Because hopelessness + isolation + shame = a lethal formula.
Men are:
3–4× more likely to die by suicide
Less likely to seek support
More likely to feel ashamed for struggling
More likely to believe no one will understand them
This is not about weakness.
This is about unaddressed emotional injuries.
And society has not built accessible systems for men to heal.
5. The Collapse of Intimacy: A Symptom of Something Deeper
Modern intimacy is fracturing because the internal world of men is overstimulated but undernourished.
Men today are navigating:
disrupted hormonal balance (food, chemicals, stress)
attachment wounds
unresolved mother/father wounds
emotional illiteracy
a hyper-digital dating world
performance pressure
financial pressure
fear of vulnerability
disconnection from healthy masculine identity
When you combine all of this, relationships become:
functional
transactional
reactive
unstable
sexually disconnected
Men aren’t failing at intimacy.
They are drowning in neural overload.
6. What Men Actually Need (But Are Rarely Given)
Most men do not need:
𐄂 another lecture
𐄂 another attack
𐄂 another “do better” script
They need:
✔ nervous system regulation
✔ emotional literacy tools
✔ a safe place to fall apart without shame
✔ guidance from someone grounded, attuned, and trauma-informed
✔ structure + compassion
✔ a supportive community
✔ a reset from chronic stress patterns
This is what shifts men from:
freeze → flow
shutdown → leadership
confusion → clarity
collapse → connection
This is why my work exists.
This is why ThisCourse ™️exists.
Because the world has changed — and men need a different type of support that honours both neuroscience and soul.
7. Why I Care About Men’s Work (And Why I Won’t Stop)
My life, my relationships, my career, and my motherhood have shown me this truth:
When a man is emotionally resourced, the world around him becomes safer, softer, stronger, and more alive.
I work with:
entrepreneurs
athletes
artists
fathers
young men finding their way
older men rediscovering themselves
I’ve witnessed breakdowns turn into breakthroughs and shame turn into sovereignty.
My somatic, trauma-informed, RTT-based protocols help men:
unravel old conditioning
heal childhood wounds
reconnect to purpose
restore healthy intimacy
regulate their emotional systems
The collapse is real — but so is the comeback.
8. A New Model for Men: Integrated, Resourced, Connected
Men do not need saving.
They need rewiring.
They need a new internal map that reflects:
emotional intelligence
embodied confidence
relational presence
nervous system mastery
self-respect
spiritual groundedness
This is not therapy alone.
This is not coaching alone.
This is neural reset, energetic reset, identity reset — the kind of transformation that makes intimacy possible again.
If you are a man reading this: You are not broken. You are overwhelmed.
If you are a woman who loves a man:
He does not need judgment — he needs support.
If you are a parent of a young man:
His future depends on emotional tools schools never taught him.
This is repairable.
This is recoverable.
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